Should i stay with a compulsive liar

This level of self-belief and the level of detail often present in their stories makes it difficult for you to distrust them.

Larger stories or events in their life because even more difficult to decipher or understand. Pathological liars want other people to think well of them or to feel sorry for them. That means they may tell stories that turn them into big heroes, or they may tell stories that turn them into big victims. Either way, they tend to be very absorbed in what other people think, and they will do or say whatever it takes to make sure that other people view them in a certain light.

This can take a toll on any relationship. Someone who is a pathological liar may not even realize that their own stories are lies. At least, not all the time. These individuals can start to fall into their trap, making it even more difficult to help them see that their lies are hurting others. If they feel like turning against you can get them more sympathy from others, they may very well turn against you as well.

And that means they may tell stories to other people that paint you in the light of the villain and themselves as the victim. The stories may be based slightly on truth such as a fight the two of you had , or they may be entirely made up, yet your friends and loved ones have no way of knowing that.

They may also turn against other friends and family members in similar ways. That means they may start to become distant or have a less positive view of your partner, which could cause distance between you. You never know who they will lie to next or what that lie is going to be. When the person that you love and trust the most is lying to you, and you find out about it, you could end up struggling with all of your relationships.

This could cause you to be distrustful of everyone you know or meet. And being distrustful could lead to problems in those relationships and difficulty continuing them. If your partner is a compulsive liar, you both must seek out professional help. On the other hand, you could use professional help to deal with the aftermath of their lying, and of course, the both of you together could use help to understand your relationships better.

You and your partner can have sessions entirely online without ever having to leave the comfort of your own home. Compulsive liars have a need to embellish and exaggerate, says Paul Ekman, PhD , a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California in San Francisco and the author of Telling Lies , among other books.

When you ask a compulsive liar for an opinion on an important issue, says Dr. Many people do. I've actually been asked by the governor of California to comment on this. Pathological liars may be even bolder. The two lying types are pretty similar, he says, and actually, ''You could be a compulsive pathological liar. Neither compulsive nor pathological lying has been studied extensively, say Feldman and Ekman. They know impulsivity and a need to impress could be linked to the habit.

Liars' brains may differ structurally from the average brain. In a study in The British Journal of Psychiatry , scientists did brain scans on pathological liars and others, and found that the liars had more white matter in the brain's prefrontal cortex. When asked questions, they may speak a lot without ever being specific or answering the question. Most people lie at one time or another. Previous research has suggested that we tell an average of 1.

Pathological lies, on the other hand, are told consistently and habitually. They tend to appear pointless and often continuous. It can test the trust in any relationship and make it hard to even have a simple conversation with the person. Be supportive and kind, but firm. Someone who pathologically lies may have the tendency to first respond with a lie.

The person may be driven by an underlying personality disorder, anxiety , or low self-esteem. Let them know that you value them for who they really are. Without judgment or shaming, suggest that they consider professional help and let them know your suggestion comes from genuine concern for their well-being.

A pathological liar is an excellent storyteller and performer. They know how to captivate their audience by telling elaborate and fantastic stories while being very animated. Along with knowing how to weave and express a detailed story, people are also fascinated by what drives a person to lie. Diagnosing a pathological liar can be difficult because of the many possible causes of the behavior. The universe blessed me with you tonight. All my best wishes to you. The best gift you could ever give me is your peace, happiness, clarity, and love.

Thank YOU from the bottom of my heart Gail. I am so happy and honored to help. Helllo Natasha. This was excellent!

It is easy for me to see this type of person now. It was the definition of most of the boys I dated. I say boys because that is what they were. Not real men. Thank you so much for all you share. Love you and wish you a Happy Valentines Day. You are a blessing. Can't wait to hug you sister. I used to be a compulsive liar myself, which probably has a lot to do with having married a pathological liar.

I have always known he lies, but it seems to have worsened as time goes on. I have called him out hundreds of times and he will agree that he is lying, but he will not stop no matter what and will even lie to cover his lies. I basically do not believe anything he says. Is there no way to redeem a person like this? Is there truly no cure? My wife is caught it in this situation. How did you change? I touch on it in the article a bit but will try to write about that soon! Thanks for the recommendation Tom.

I have lived with a pathological liar for years now. From day one she lied to me and nearly 14 years later nothing has changed. I would rack my brain thinking it was me, even to the point she called me paranoid. When I confronted her after catching her out she would become aggressive and make out it was my fault.

A lot of the words and phrases you used in your piece made me smile grimmice because I have used them but nothing changes. Funny enough her name is Natasha as well. Stupid little lies and absolutely unbelievable big lies with a grain of truth to keep me on the hook.

As you said even when confronted and she apologised there is a lie underneath waiting to be found out. Most recent, was our joint account we opened.

Eventually I went in the bank only to find the account was empty. No remorse or admission of guilt, to the point of making out it was my fault in front of her mother.

I often wonder what she is saying to people behind my back. I was never allowed to meet any of her friends. I could go on forever. You are not alone. I feel your pain. Then I found out what was said not from him. I gave him several chances to come clean. Not only did he deny it, he doubled down and said he would never do something like that and how horrible people are that do that. I thought I was going to vomit. I such a defeated feeling.

He says he will change then I catch him again. No remorse, just hosile anger for having been exposed. Hi, I am living in a horrible horrible nightmare that is coming true and getting worse and worse by the day.

This is the worst thing he has hidden from me. It was an Essential Worker letter for Corona virus travel restrictions that states he will be entering WA for work in the mines 3 weeks on and 1 week off.

It also states he will be permanently relocating to WA next week When I was reading this I felt as if I was actually physically being hurt my heart is broken into a million pieces. I know I have no self esteem or respect for myself and sound so stupid he has slowly chipped away all of that I am hurting so much right now, how do I get through this. My husband is a liar. He is a master manipulator. After two other relationships where men fucked with my head, I have no hope.

He was my last hope. At this point I expect them all too either abuse, cheat, or lie. My husband has done all of the above. I no longer love him, but the person I thought I loved never existed to begin with.

After everything I have already been through I hate him for the destruction he created in my head and heart. The years I wasted with him will never return to me and I leave bitter, discontented, and with a complete lack of respect for such a toxic human being. My husband started lying the night before we married by presenting himself as someone he was not. Over the years it got worse. Lies about women. Why he was late picking up our kids,etc.

The last straw was the porn on the computer. Sent him for treatment only to have the lies start again with him being a victim. I walked away. Enough is enough. Learning to trust again is tough. Being poor is tough but my life is SO much better. Leave the liars behind. Natasha thank you for this.

Your bottom line is remarkable as is the entire article. By posting your experiences, we as a tribe of survivors can only grow and get bigger and bigger as a network, and this in turn makes us better and better at discovering ourselves, and our lost intuition, and how to take it back. Thank you for putting this in writing for all of us to experience the calling of the truth inside us.

Thanksgiving wishes to you. I am in tears writing back to you. Tears of joy and so much gratitude. Thank you for taking the time to share and thank you for being a part of this tribe. I just want to give everything that I wish I had. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your loved ones.